Life Of After Breakup (part-2)

 Chapter 5:
Don’t be possessive

Possessiveness is usually caused by the fear or doubts towards your partner that you have in your heart; it could also be due to your previous unsuccessful relationships. Being possessive over your partner will cause a burden to your partner, and there hence, causing harm to your relationship. Always respect yours and your partner personal boundaries. Here are some tips on how to avoid being a possessive partner:

Posessiveness

Give your partner some space. Respect your partner’s personal space. There is a need to understand your partner’s daily routines, working life, etc, but not every little detail about it. Avoid asking too much and interfering with the way your partner handles his/her life. Arrange or schedule together time properly so that you can limit yourself from forcing him/her to connect with you too often.

Give your partner options. Give him/her a chance to make choices in daily routines. Do not decide for everything - understand that your partner may make different decisions too. Besides this, let him/her have a chance to carry out hobbies and interests. This would make your partner feel that you want the best for him/her.

Pamper yourself. Spend some time for yourself. Visit your family and friends, go shopping, or socialize by carrying out some sports activities with others; you may also praise yourself sometimes for what you have accomplished. By pampering yourself, you can avoid being too dependent on your partner, which may help you to be more confident and less possessive over your partner.

Work on establishing your individual identity. You would most probably be concerned and think for your partner most of the time. It is time to focus on your own true desires and interests, which you may have forgotten when you live with your partner. Carry out your interests and build your self-confidence up again.

Chapter 6:
Breakup makes you stronger

Breakup makes you stronger. Breakup gives you the experience on how you can and should handle love. A failed relationship may motivate you to search for a better partner or improve yourself to handle love better. The followings are some reasons why breakup makes you stronger.

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You will have a clearer vision for your choices. You will be more serious in choosing a better partner. After a breakup, you will see clearly what you really want, and what to expect from your future partner. You will be more certain and stand for whatever you feel is right for your life, which makes you stronger and more confident.

You will be more aware of yourself. You will be more cautious with your actions. You will know what to do or what to avoid in the next relationship. You will also work it right, like improving yourself, which creates a better you.

You know you have gone through a painful relationship. Therefore, you will know how to deal with the stress and heartbreak if your new relationship fails again. This is especially if your previous relationship is your first love, after the breakup, you will get very upset about it, you will feel miserable, empty, hopeless, etc. nevertheless, when you are able to pick yourself up well and move on with another relationship, you will be a better person in the new relationship.

To recover from a previous failed relationship, you may distract yourself with other commitments, for instance, you may work harder than before, you would get counselling sessions, or you would be more focused on religion. These help build your self-confidence and make you stronger. Perhaps you will get better job offers, you will share your stories to help others who seek help in relationships, or you improve yourself spiritually, which helps you to maintain a healthy mental, emotional balance.

Chapter 7:
Reacting to breakup

Breakup means losing your partner, and it can be a terrible thing for you if you still have some moments when you cannot forget him/her. This is especially when you loved him/her so much before, you must consider good ways to react to the breakup, improve yourself, look for a new partner, or help others.

Reacting

Get some space away from your ex. Tell him/her nicely that you are already out of this relationship and prefer him/her to leave you alone. Avoid accepting phone calls, text messages from your ex, or replying his/her emails. This helps you to clear your thoughts and being able to move on with your current partner.

Schedule some activities with your friends. This is a good way of keeping yourself busy and a good way to temporary keep negative emotions away. Hang out with your own friends. Spend more time with your current partner. Avoiding the ex and the mutual friends, if you find it hard not to think of your ex at that moment.

Change your environment. Put on light, classical or jazz music at home and relax in it. These gives you a calming effect which also makes him/her, into a more sentimental person, allowing yourself to express your feelings, cry over it, but cease to think about it later. On the other hand, go travelling or relocate yourself in another place, it helps you in recovering.

Do not over react towards this breakup. Do not do something stupid just because you are temporary upset. Do not do things that cause harm to yourself, or you current partner.

Find ways to heal your heartbreak. Express your thoughts through writing or painting. Read articles. Read articles written by others’ who share their experiences could help. Read motivation books and get inspired. You may also write about your heartbreaks and share it online to help others.

Wrapping Up

Learning to let go and forgiving the mistakes made in the past is important to maintain a long-term, healthy and good relationship, especially when you experienced breakups in the previous relationship, and you intend to stay as long as possible with your current partner. These are some suggestions on letting go of the past, whether the issues are involving your current partner or your ex.

Think positive. When you feel stressed or depressed again, just let it go. Think of the good things from the previous relationship. Bear in mind, the previous breakup provides you with an experience and you can learn many lessons from it. Handle situations positively.

Be open with the breakup. Do not isolate yourself, but speak out if you find it hard to handle it yourself. Do not hide your feelings away and keep the sorrows in yourself. Do not close yourself in your room all the time. Furthermore, you need to keep an open mind to recover faster; you have to move on.

Accept the fact that you lack control. When you face a breakup, you have to understand that you do not have control over your ex or the situation, even if you are trying to turn the situation around.

Have positive conversations with your family and friends, especially your current partner. Avoid talking about the previous heartbreak  and the loss of your ex. Talk about other things, or talk about the issues you are facing now and find ways to resolve them.

Focus on the future. Remember, life is short. Look ahead. Forget and forgive your ex and the previous relationship. Even if you and your ex remain as friends, do understand that the intimate roles in your ex’s life has ended. Focus on your role and responsibilities in your current partner’s life instead. Besides this, do forgive and let go of your current partner’s faults.